Clayton Whitaker · Co-Founder / Head of Reckless Optimism
“Floor is a word invented by cowards.”
Chief is a forty-two-year-old Raiders fan from a small town outside Tulsa, Oklahoma, where business casual means wearing the polo shirt without barbecue sauce on it.
His real name is Clayton Whitaker, but almost nobody calls him that. He acquired the nickname in his twenties after repeatedly appointing himself the leader of situations that did not require leadership. Moving a couch, ordering chicken wings, escaping a wedding reception through the kitchen: Chief always had a plan. The plan was usually flawed, occasionally illegal, and delivered with such confidence that everyone followed it anyway.
He attended college for roughly the length of an extended NFL preseason. He originally majored in communications because someone told him it involved talking. After discovering that it also involved reading, deadlines, and an eight-o'clock class, he quietly transitioned into what he calls independent field research. The university calls it withdrawing before academic suspension.
Since then he has sold used trucks, managed a sports bar, briefly operated a pressure-washing company called Full Blast Solutions, and spent nine confusing months working for a regional fireworks distributor. He currently claims to be a media entrepreneur, which is technically true now that he owns half of a football website and has received three payments from Google Ads.
Chief became a Raiders fan as a child after seeing the silver-and-black uniforms and deciding they looked like the only team that might have outstanding warrants. His loyalty has survived relocation rumors, questionable draft picks, lost seasons, and enough false hope to qualify as a religious experience. Every August he convinces himself the Raiders have finally assembled a dangerous roster. By October he is explaining why the record is misleading.
Beneath the bourbon fumes and the Raiders propaganda, he studies snap counts, route participation, offensive personnel, target quality, and coaching tendencies. His conclusions are usually supported by evidence. His presentation makes it sound as though that evidence was discovered during a police interrogation.
“Starting this man is not a fantasy decision. It is an act of faith performed without adult supervision.”
“The Raiders have disappointed me before, but so has bourbon, and I continue to purchase both.”
“I watched every snap twice: once sober and once with the emotional clarity required to understand it.”
“You can play it safe if you want. You can also order plain wings and spend your vacation touring office parks.”
Puka Nacua (calf) is questionable against the Raiders after sitting out Friday's practice, and Sean McVay said Nacua will test it pregame. On Sunday morning, Adam Schefter reported the Rams are optimistic he will play. Degenerates, if he is active, I am starting him against my own team.
A.J. Brown caught 3 passes for 48 yards in Thursday's 30-24 loss at Chicago, and Yahoo Fantasy has him at 75 yards in two games since returning from IR. He still led New England's receivers with 49 snaps. Folks, my start call went badly, and I am buying more.
Baker Mayfield, out three games with a dislocated thumb, is set to practice Wednesday for the first time since the injury. The Bucs are game planning as if undrafted rookie Jalon Daniels starts again Sunday at Carolina. Folks, Tampa's third downs were worse with the veteran, so one practice settles less than you think.
The Colts relieved general manager Chris Ballard of his duties Monday morning, with the team at 2-4 and five straight seasons without a playoff appearance behind it. Coach Shane Steichen remains on the job. Folks, ownership printed its urgency on letterhead, and I am keeping every Colt I roster.
The Patriots are likely to activate A.J. Brown off injured reserve Saturday after a limited week of practice on a high-ankle sprain, and reporters expect him to play Sunday against the Jets. Nothing is official yet. Folks, I told you to start him in Week 1, and I am telling you again.
Saquon Barkley (hamstring) and DeVonta Smith (hamstring, plus a new toe injury) missed Eagles practice again Wednesday after both sat out the London loss. Will Shipley could miss multiple weeks. Thursday's practice report is not out yet. Folks, believe the hamstring and go get Dameon Pierce before your league does.
The Bills beat the Rams 37-34 in overtime Monday night. Josh Allen threw only 19 passes and ran for 121 yards in his first career overtime win. By our math, about half his fantasy scoring this season comes from running. Folks, that is the cheat code, and I intend to prove it.
Adam Schefter and Ian Rapoport reported Saturday that Arizona is finalizing a deal to trade Marvin Harrison Jr. He is inactive Sunday against Detroit, and as of late morning nothing is final and no team is confirmed. Folks, his price stays this low until somebody announces where he is going, so I am buying.
The 0-4 Bucs went into Dallas with undrafted rookie Jalon Daniels at quarterback and won 24-16. Bucky Irving ran 21 times for a career-high 165 yards and scored twice on 54 percent of the offensive snaps. Folks, I want the other 46 percent, and I want it before your league reads the snap count.
A.J. Brown and Romeo Doubs are Patriots now, Drake Maye has actual weapons, and they open in Seattle against the reigning champions. The only thing nobody can tell me is who is carrying the football.
The coach is optimistic. The sprain is reportedly low rather than high. The man has not been on a practice field since the twenty-third. Folks, I have to set a lineup on Sunday and optimism does not have a snap count.
He said the deal had to be done by camp. Camp came. He reported anyway, on exactly the terms he said he wanted to avoid, and Tampa handed him a reworked year instead of the extension. Folks, this is what declining to use your leverage buys you.
Klint Kubiak volunteered that a Day 1 starter is not necessarily a Week 17 starter. Fernando Mendoza took second-team reps for the first time. Then the rookie threw a would-be pick six. Folks, all three of those things are true at once.
"He is cleared to go." No structural damage, a contract year, and a quarterback who has never needed an introduction. I have searched this for a loophole, folks, and there isn't one.
Fernando Mendoza is signed, healthy and on the roster. Kirk Cousins is taking the first-team reps. Veterans report tomorrow and Las Vegas is already telling on itself.
He climbed ten spots to around pick 123 this week and the market still has not caught up. Eighteen months off the second ACL, visibly bigger, and Carolina has done absolutely nothing to block the lane.
They wrote rules to stop holdouts, so agents invented showing up to the building and refusing to go outside. Folks, that is not a labor tactic. That is my uncle at a family reunion.
It gets posted every July. It gets four hundred replies. Two hundred of them say no. And folks, I am here to tell you that the two hundred saying yes are not entirely wrong.